tramitem_comm | (no subject)

Only you don't go around apologizing to people so easily.

[ He spoke, not wishing the spotlight to be back on him so quickly but its not like he could avoid it forever. Pretend that it wasn't happening... that he wasn't changing.
If the room hadn't been so dimly lit Alec might have seen a hint of that change in the coiled serpent tattoo he now wore on his cheek. The 'mark of the beast' he'd begun thinking of it as when the damn thing wouldn't wash off even with vigorous scrubbing. ]

Alot's happened, none of it good. How could it be really... with me involved.

I miss you. [it was simple as that]

And I was an idiot. Burnt the fuck out of my arm. I was trying to prove something and in the end was left where I started.

[he didn't see the tattoo no. But then he wasn't looking]

What happened?

[ A pang of concern intruded into his wallowing, drawing his eyes automatically to Alec's arms. ]

I missed you too. Would have called only...

[ The candle in the center of the table burned brightly but that didn't stop Anthony from reaching out to hold his hand in the flame. It didn't catch, didn't burn, it only grew a touch warm where the fire kissed it. ]

I had one Hell of a memory.

Your arm... how bad was the burn?

[Alec had seen tricks with the candle before and wasn't entirely sure what Anthony was doing. It seemed par for course for how much of an punk he liked to portray himself so he didn't think anything of it]

Tell me.

[and then with a sigh he unbuttoned his shirt sleeve and pulled it up to his elbow, there was an ace bandage all the way there]

It wasn't a small one. Fell was there to act as nurse again. I feel like I'm his bloody project half the time and the other half I'm his dog called to heel.

Some days I wish I looked like anyone else.

You wouldn't like it.

[ Anymore than he liked seeing his poor Cousin's arm bandaged all the way up like that. Fell had done a good job with it though. The whole thing looked very professional. ]

Does it hurt much?

I don't bloody like anything.

[he wished Anthony would have said something about Fell, but what was there to say? The truth was the truth]

Just tell me while you still have a choice.

[because eventually he was going to find out]

Like a bitch.

[the server came back then and Anthony took a few minutes going over the details of how the steak was made and the side options available before finally choosing the Sea Bass Skewer. The server nearly skewered him with a look before stalking off]

[ He might yet speak about Fell but that was one of the many thoughts that needed a little while to simmer... or marinate in all that wine he had been drinking. Thinking of that he took another long sip as he snuggled back into the armrest of his sofa. ]

I Fell.

[ Not that Alec would believe he had ever been an angel when he couldn't even wrap his mind around that he had once been a demon. ]

God is supposed to be this being of compassion and love but I was singled out, told I wasn't good enough... No fanfare just turned her back on me. Sent me hurdling towards the ground like a skydiver without a parachute.

[ He emptied his glass. ]

[at first he thought Anthony was making some sort of strange pun. But then he realized what it was. Of course Anthony would the most darkly dramatic ...what...persona? possible. A demon sent plummeting from heaven. Couldn't have had something normal, no. He had to be the center of attention whatever it was. Alec knew he couldn't help it-- consciously anyway-- but he was just bemused at his cousin's list toward the dramatic side of things.

He contemplated what to say to that, pouring himself some wine boldly because he knew it would irritate Anthony. But also he needed it. Needed more than that]

Look, whatever it is, whatever you call it, trick, reincarnation, some other-- universe overlapping with ours-- it's not you, okay? It's happening to you, but it's not you. Not you, not right now, not raised as you were, not what you think and feel, not who you are.

[he didn't expect it to help really. Maybe it would at the start but soon something else would come up]

And I'm sorry...

[that he couldn't do more.]

Yeah... not me...

[ He agreed unconvincingly with a frown which only deepened as he reached for the bottle of wine and found it in Alec's hand. ]

That's a bad idea.

[he repressed a sigh. It hadn't helped even a little. He supposed there were some things he couldn't save Anthony from-- but he wasn't worried too much. His cousin would come out on top as always]

I'm just taking a little. You don't have to mother hen me. I get enough of that from your boyfriend. [he leaned back with the bottle and-- having no cup, drank straight from it]

[ He shrugged and waved the waitress over to add a few of those fiesta tacos to his growing order. He was feeling a touch peckish... ]

Why is Aziraphale motherhenning you anyway? It's been like that from the start, you and him... thick as... thick as... whatever things are as thick as.

Thieves.

[he took another sip and watched the food come. He supposed it didn't matter why really. The situation was resolved]

He was distressed because he wanted to be with you-- and he couldn't. Didn't dare say it because he's a good person. I helped him through it. [he shook his head]

But the only reason he cares is because we're cousins and twins practically. He doesn't really like me it's just this twisted form of obligation because of you.

Congratulations.

At least even if you are a demon you've got someone to put up with a lot of horseshit for your sake.

He's an odd one... into magic and demons.

[ His head bobbed. ]

Naahhhh, there's more to it than that. He likes you! I don't know why, cause you're a pain in the ass...

[ The words were slurred but spoken fondly. ]

Probably sees you as a friend.

We're not. He sees me as an obligation. I'm kind to him so that he won't have a nervous breakdown over all these things and so he thinks he owes me an obligation. I'd rather he left well enough alone.

[he gave Anthony a look]

You're going to have to be more observant about things, you know. Figure out how to take better care of him and this by and by. I won't be around forever.

[his clock was ticking as loudly as a heartbeat]

He's too nice to see you as an obligation!

[ The rest was given a pout. ]

That sounds like the beginning of one of those 'you need to be more responsible' speeches mum used to give me. Anyway you aren't going anywhere... not for a long time.

[Alec wasn't going to argue with the first. Anthony always saw the best in people and what was wrong with that? Also there wasn't anything wrong with seeing him as an obligation because that was part of being a nice person. If it stung, it was on him.

The latter wasn't as difficult to argue though it made him feel that maybe Fell had the right of it. He was a dog. Like Nanna in Peter Pan. Always picking up after this idiot's disasters. Normally Alec would let it go but this was more important than that]

I'm not telling you to change who you are or even what you should do- But it's part of caring about people and truly knowing and understanding how they feel. Don't take it for granted that he loves you and let it be the end of it, but discover who he is and what upsets him-- what he does when he's upset. How he hides it. I'm sure he's looking at you just as closely.

[ Well... not everyone. If that Mr. Martin had a good side Anthony certainly hadn't seen any hint of it and Elliott, heh, he was almost the opposite, so well intentioned he was placing everyone else in danger. ]

I'm not such a complete screw up that I don't know that! Just because I never had a relationship that lasted for very long, up until Grace, doesn't mean I don't know that.

[ Though what had been her favorite color? It dawned slowly that he couldn't remember.

Aziraphale though, he was different. Everything about him was recalled in the most brilliant of details. ]

He loves little out of the way restaurants where the owners try new and unique recipes of their own creation. Gourmet dishes and wines of the finest vintage. He's out of step with fashion but wears what is worn in and comfortable to him. When is he upset he fidgets, just so with his hands, like wringing them together in front of him helps. And I've seen him mad. He was so mad once he nearly stormed away... I had to suggest dinner to get him to calm down.

[ Now that had been one of his other selves memories but some how he knew that would work just as well here. ]

You can't let up on what you want to talk to him about but you can't push him too far either. He has to be eased into big decisions, slowly tempted.

[ Anthony reached out to snag the wine bottle, thinking to refill his glass now that Alec had taken his sip but he likewise abandoned the idea to sip directly from the bottle too. ]

See? I'm not so adrift... Just the other day I had to crush some poor idiots dreams of working at the gardens because I didn't want to have any Bureau spy sniffing around you and Aziraphale. I am looking out for you both.

[it was cute. Adorable really. And Alec was more or less satisfied with it. Maybe Anthony wouldn't need him after all. Fell either. They would have to sink or swim by themselves, but he had a feeling that they would fly once they got their act together. It was the one good thing that came out of this.]

You don't need to look after me. I'm fine. [said automatically as he relinquished the wine. Then his food came and he began to pick at it, taking off bits of this or that that looked unappetizing.

The rest of it got Anthony a sharp look]

Bureau spy? Who.

I'm gonna... Everyone needs some looking after. S'what family is for.

[ The wine bottle was given another swig before he set it down on the table and reached for one of those fiesta tacos. ]

That kid, Elliott. He's got a job with the Bureau in their medical department. Did you even know they had a medical department??

[fine. Have it your way. He will let Anthony have his way in that area-- And then just to be a brat, took the taco his cousin had been reaching for. He didn't even care for tacos really but took a bite of it out of spite.

It wasn't half bad...

He frowned at the mention of Elliott, wiping some sour cram from the corner of his mouth with a thumb]

You sure he's not spying on them?

[ Brat. He would have given his cousin a shin kick under the table if only that didn't mean having to stop lounging, something he was far too lazy and too drunk to consider. ]

He says he is trying to act as the middle man, be a peacekeeper to prevent both sides from hating the other. He's no spy! You even seen the kid try to lie?

[ He reached out to snag a different taco and take a bite. ]

He sucks at it! Which is why he's dangerous. He could tell them anything!

He's an idiot. [there was no denying that]

In over his head. [but] It would be interesting to feed him information and see where it went.

[he finishes off the taco and nabs another.]

We can't change what he decided to do or talk sense into him, but we can use it.

That's diabolical.

[ And that was saying something coming from a demon! ]

What would get a rise out of them... secret meeting? That Mr. Martin sounded really concerned those might be happening. We could send them to the waterworks, pretend something's going down there.

[a smirk]

How are we going to leak it? Accidentally overheard conversation? Flyers around? We don't want to trap anyone else in this.

Can't do the flyers, like you said, that might trap some one else. It would have to be overheard or... if some one were his friend and could slip something into a pocket. We could find out if those Bureau types go picking through his stuff while he is busy working.

Don't think he cares much for me anymore... How close are you?

I can probably manage something. [he picked the fish off the skewer with a fork and carefully ate it with a bit of tomato and green pepper.

It's a relief to be doing something proactive.]

Before I forget-- Do you have a car or just that bloody motorbike of yours?

Never been able to afford a car. I probably could now, but it's not just the car you also need the insurance... and to pay for a parking space... Not that I wouldn't love to have one. Why do you ask?

Fair enough. Thought I could get a lift to the airport.

I'm going to Edinburgh. If you want to know why, just look. [he slid his mobile across the table. Ellie had sent him forty-seven messages culminating in a substantial threat to come over there and kick his scrawny arse if she didn't see him]

She went joint on the airfare otherwise I would have told her to sod off. [he wouldn't've]

I could give you a lift but only on the back of two wheels.

[ The phone was picked up and the messages flipped through. Ellie, good on her for taking matters to hand. ]

Might do you some good to see her. I know it will her, she was blowing up my phone like this when you were in the hospital.

I'd like to be alive when I get there, thanks.

[he reached for the bottle, flexing his fingers in a questioning gesture. Another?]

I wish she'd leave it alone. We're barely related.

[ Anthony scrunched his nose at the gesture and took another swig himself before handing it over. ]

You're half related. S'good enough. Anyway it sounds fun, just taking off to Edinburgh. Take in a show while you're there.

I'll probably be forced to sit through a half dozen. Most involving popcorn. [he takes a longer swallow of the wine and sighs] You can't say to to her once she goes on a tear.

And of course mum will be around. [he might not give the bottle back] If I die, don't let me be buried there. Even if you have to pitch my body across the border.

You and El should go out. Spend less time back at home.

[ Cause yeeting you across the border sounds a difficult task. ]

Maybe there's a festival.

[he wrinkled his nose at the thought]

Too much bloody noise. [another sip of wine]

Music isn't noise. Anyway its better than shouting...

How long are you staying?

I've seen the festivals you go too. [were you expecting that wine back?]

Two weeks. One if I can manage it. A fortnight if she doesn't catch me sneaking out through the back door.

Nothing wrong with loud music and a huge bonfire.

[ The bottle was given a longing look but he was quite giddy already and not in the mood to go chasing after it. ]

It'll be a fortnight then. She will be watching that door like a hawk.