June 2nd

[bearshermark]

[Text to Yotsuyu]

So I got the job I applied for. Student Extern for the medical services department of the IBA. 10 hrs/week. Flexible schedule.


[Text to Clarence]

I got the job.


[Text to Lisa]

So I don't want to worry you, but I feel like you should know. I started working in the medical services department for the Bureau yesterday.

Comments

[traceofeffort]

Okay. Thank you.

Did they make you do anything strange yet?

[bearshermark]

[His smile strengthens]

No, it was only my second day today. They're just showing me what they want me to do- stuff like rerouting calls, taking notes for doctors, data entry, patient deliveries..

[He shrugs] Normal seeming job stuff.

[traceofeffort]

Well... hopefully it stays that way. Sounds boring, but maybe boring is good, yeah? Better than- [She shudders, just a tiny bit.] -the alternative.

[bearshermark]

[His expression softens alongside his voice]

I'll be okay. I want everyone to be okay.

[traceofeffort]

Me too. I just think working with them is the wrong way to do it. But... you might be a better person than I am. I want that, but I'm a little too selfish for it.

[bearshermark]

[Elliott stares placidly at his phone for a moment, searching for words that aren't going to fuel an argument. He settles on honest ones]

I'm... doing this because I'm scared of what might happen if no one else does. So, that's why I did it.

[traceofeffort]

Of course it is. [Despite the roller coaster she's been on for the last few minutes, her smile is warm.] Like I said, you're a better person than I am. If anyone can do it, it's you, Elliott. So... don't take my worry as a request to stop, okay? I think it's risky, but you also know how I am, so that's probably not a surprise.

[bearshermark]

[He doesn't feel like a better person; just someone caught between two frightening options and choosing what he hopes is the lesser of them. But neither does he know how to articulate that]

..Yeah, okay. Just.. I'm sorry for handling this so poorly. I never wanted to upset you.

[traceofeffort]

You tried. You made a decision in good faith, and I respect that. I'm just a little too... [She waves a hand wildly; she doesn't know the word she wants to use either.] -to be able to handle that. It's... [It's not okay. But that's as much a problem with her as it is one with him.] I accept your apology in the spirit you're offering it, even if I have a hard time with it in my heart.

I'll be okay, Elliott. I just need a little time, and for you to actually come back alive from your shifts.

[bearshermark]

[Elliott nods, guilt still squeezing in his heart but unable to assuage it any further. It's done, and he can't take it back. All he can do is give her that time and assurance]

Every day, I promise.